Ever just have one of those days?
July 22-23, 2010: one of those days. I feel I need to apologize to the world.
I apologize to the entire Internet.
I apologize for going all Bush-doctrine in my approach to celebrities. (Mock them or suck up to them? I prefer to mock.) I apologize further for applying this strategy without regard to friends’ relationships with said celebrities, or to degrees of celebrity hotness.
I apologize for using the same handle on several websites.
I apologize to everyone sitting to my right at the communal table (hell, the entire room) at Lafitte last night, between 10:30 (when dinner started) and 1 a.m. this morning (when it ended), for what happened each time I had to swing my legs over the bench to sit.
No — unlike some people, Von Schramm — I was not “going commando”. But I was wearing what amounted to a getup for Malibu Barbie After Dark, so, you know. Mistakes were made.
I apologize to last night’s Scotch sommelier for calling the penultimate Scotch of the evening “barbecued”.
I really apologize to the chef for having made that face while eating the dessert, which even now, I’m like … okay. Think about berries. Think about berries.
And, see? I apologize because I still insist on doing that.
I apologize to my baby sister for drunk-dialing her at two in the morning.
I apologize and a half to that sister for not leaving a message.
I apologize to my doctor, the infinitely kind Dr. James Yoss, for showing up in his office today at 1:30 with a hangover.
I apologize further to Dr. Yoss for telling him, when he poked at my liver and laughed at me, “You suck.”
Finally: I apologize for clicking on this story, and reading this question:
Has playing Don Draper influenced your personal style? —Lyse Garant, DOVER, N.J.
I’m more conscious of what goes into dressing up. My personal style is not quite up to snuff with Mad Men. But the difference between a nice suit and a suit that isn’t tailored to fit you is significant. It’s very much a statement about a person who’s ready to look like he’s in control of a situation.
… and going “Really.”