What Not To Drink Now

Ladies, countrywomen, friends. The Skinnygirl Margarita probably won’t make us “skinny”. Even if it could, it doesn’t taste good. If it did, the boys would tell us.

Found, on page 38 of the February Esquire Magazine (helpfully headlined We Try It So You Don’t Have To):


Say the cute little four-year-old down the block made a bowl of lemonade but instead of sugar used Splenda and instead of lemons used lemon flavoring and put it in a big bowl filled with ice and set it in the sun so all the ice melted and the “lemonade” got kind of hot and she got bored and went inside and a Labrador retriever came along and lapped some up and then stuck his head in the bowl and got the stuff all up his nose and sneezed uncontrollably into the bowl for a while. That’s what it tastes like. On ice.

Ladies, fruit is good. In 2011, let us make a pledge to one another, to life, to fruit: we will let ourselves have the real thing, not fake doggy-sneeze mixes like this.

Limes don’t cost much. Sugar and salt aren’t that bad.

Let’s live a little.


3 responses to “What Not To Drink Now

  1. amen, halleleujah!

  2. Dancewosleeping

    Few things are as disappointing as ordering a margarita in a MEXICAN restaurant, sipping it, and realizing it’s not made fresh but from a mix…

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